A guy told me the other day that he doesn’t know what to do because his son told him he is attracted to young boys. He hasn’t acted on it, but he believes he is a pedophile. And I was like wow, that’s awful, but I think I have a solution because I have a nephew (pause) who is going to be a psychiatrist next year (pause) for halloween and he looks so cute with his little cardigan and clip board.
Guys, these are just jokes. I would never offer my nephew to a pedophile. That would be a horrible thing to do. Because my nephew is a nightmare. Pedophiles want a happy lively kid, not a stillborn.
When I was younger, a pedophile actually approached me. Which is pretty scary. He said he wanted to watch The Lion King with me. And as a kid, I was confused. I was like why would this grown up want to watch The Lion King. Wouldn’t he rather watch me undress? But no. Sometimes pedophiles just want to watch a Disney movie (pause) with their son.